[Book Notes] South of the Border, West of the Sun

The main protagonist lives listlessly and without purpose outside of the romantic relationships he is in. He is alone from birth, raised as an only child. He finds another only child. Together they build a deep special bond and continue to obsess over each other for years.

In the meantime, the protagonist tries to find another woman, settles down, and later discovers she attempted suicide. He falls in love with the woman he knew in childhood when she reenters his adult life. When she departs, he is again unhappy, sad, and aimless.

When your happiness is rooted in another person, they will be burdened by your happiness, and you will be lost when they eventually fade away.

"I always feel like I'm struggling to become someone else..."

The protagonist tries to escape himself and knows that act is futile. I suppose we truly cannot seek to find that which is lacking in others.

Shimamoto was moved by something and seemingly only lived on through her dream of him. Once she had him, she had nothing more to live for. There was no middle ground, no something to live for beyond her dream, and that failed her.

— Jay