Stuck

Stuck.

F**k. Am I stuck? Buried in a mountain of rust. Fired from giant cogs like dust.

Stuck. Internally, I feel like I'm not going anywhere. I feel as though I have no motive for moving forward. I feel as though I'm not actually growing or working towards anything worth a damn. But, I am. I'm working on projects that all fit in my intention. They do. It's true. But that's not truly prioritization. That's not truly being strategic. You cannot win a game of chess by aiming to capture three objectives. When the time comes for you to decide... how can you?

You choose the most important one obviously. Exactly. And, the most obvious one should be the only one. Less is more.

Externally, I'm stuck. My managers are both frustrated by my performance. I'm appearing slow, lazy, and untrustworthy. And, I'm believing I am those things. Because, their perceptions are not wrong. Their perceptions are their reality, and I am subordinate to those realities.

What's most important.

That which is most important.

Diligence. Never really been my strong suit. Yet, I turn around and I'm surrounded by all these diligent people. In the book that I'm reading now, Made to Stick, it says that all successful ideas succeed in the same way yet there are a million ways to fail. I don't think it is an understatement to say that if I stay on my current path then I will find my own sort of failure. If I don't course correct nothing will get better and now more than ever — I have the chance to do just that.

Diligence. Focus. Prioritization. All great qualities but the greatest of these is focus.

— Jay